On the benefits of teaching

If you're my student and you're reading this, then you may or may not have noticed that the 2011 academic year hasn't been that smooth for me. i'm more irritable than usual, much less patient, have much less room for jokes and laughter in my classes, and almost NO dead time. usually, that may be a good thing. less dead time and pointless gags means that my students learn more, and i manage to stuff more information into their heads. problem is, students tend to have a maximum amount of knowledge they can absorb in any given course, and if every lesson is like reading from an encyclopedia, the kids shut down.

after months of shoving substance down my students' throats after receiving an "enquiry" from a parent why i took so much time off after my wedding and my post-wedding recovery, i thought i could compensate by aggressive, intensive teaching. there's also another reason why i'm especially tense this year - a lot is on the line, if you know what i mean. it's been 2 years, and my heart is nudging me to get better or get lost. this is the aggressive bone in me. problem is, teaching is a particularly non-competitive industry, not really well-suited for those who are overly ambitious (= me). i've been repeatedly telling myself that if i see no future here, i've got to get a move on it, which has made me increasingly paranoid that i'm going to do something wrong that will screw it all up. it also doesn't help that it seems that a million eyes are watching.

however, upon returning from my exhausting yet nice honeymoon with my everdearest, i took some time out to unwrap the gifts and cards that my students had sent to me before the holidays. i always enjoy reading these cards because i get a glimpse of what the students think about me - something that a teacher rarely gets to see. at first, coming back to school after a long honeymoon in a place where no one understands what you're saying is bound to lead to major withdrawal - i was not looking forward to getting back into the groove of things AT ALL. but these encouraging words from students helped me bounce ALMOST right back into my want, and need, to be a good and responsible educator - one that will inspire students to become more than just someone who gets a good mark, but one who makes a good difference.

it was then, and now, that i realize that my rewards in teaching have never been extrinsic. sure, the holidays aren't bad and the pay gets me by in hk, but the core of it, is the privilege i hold in being able to mould a young mind, and their destiny. sounds kind of scary, but just as spiderman says, "with great power, comes great responsibility". who i should be impressing, then, is not my principal, department head, or class teacher. it shouldn't be the senior teachers who frown when i walk in late or dress a tad too casually. it should be these young minds that are waiting to be freed, and that are eager to learn more from me. i am privileged because i get an hour each week in most of these classes, to change their minds, to get them to see things from a new light, to get them to think of something they've never thought about. THIS should be my motivation. because the greatest reward of all as a teacher, is knowing that we've made a difference to one of those minds, who might just very well change the world.