do you ever live your life waiting for that moment where you feel like you'll get all your work done, and then you'll get to sit back and relax and enjoy the view, and reflect on what a great job you've done? or the feeling that you've been wronged, and you wait for the day where everyone understands the kind of person you've been all along, and thank you and apologize to you for all the ways they've misjudged you and made your life so darn difficult? feels good to daydream about that moment, doesn't it?
but of course, that moment wil never really come. i don't know when it was exactly that i finally reached this conclusion: that things are never really going to be "all right". strikes me as a little odd, considering i've never been a pessimistic person. heck, it's what got me to this point in the first place, what's left me standing when i could have given up ages ago. but i think, the reason why so many of us are so miserable so often, is because we really think that that point in time will come - the point where all things will be "settled".
it's what makes us live like pavlovian dogs, salivating and waiting for our special treat. and we don't rest until we do. we work, we play, we complain, we moan and groan and make demands. we resolve to change and work harder, we jump and jump and jump - but it never comes. work never gets done, because let's face it - once we finish the big piece of steak on our plate (not exactly a wagu-quality one, mind you), the next big piece of shit comes. and the next, and the next. there's always something else. always. in fact, could you imagine how boring life would be if there wasn't the next big thing? honestly, i think we'd see a much higher rate in suicides if everyone just got one basic, big assignment in life, and when they finish it, they could just go back to their video games or whatnot. i mean, what else would there be to live for then? where's the challenge?
the problem is, some people don't realize this, and really expect that they should be rewarded for every single piece of hard work they produce. and it's not their fault, really. it's the fault of the lies that we're fed from the time we're young, that we will get there when we work hard and do the right things and cross the right roads. well of course it isn't that simple. and the poor people - they get no lucky break. what movies and books and disney cartoons don't tell them is that happily ever after doesn't happen at the end of the conflict - it happens at the beginning of the entire show, the moment when you make the attitude change and the cognitive change to accept the fact that shit is most inevitably GOING to hit the fan. and, along with that, realize that there will only be brief, fleeting moments in life, where you will get a chance to stop, evaluate, smell the roses and say, "well, this ain't too bad."
the remaining 99.9% of the time, it's a struggle. i don't know which crazy researcher put forth the statistic that the really bad things only happen to us 10% of the time or whatnot. but i insist that it's a lie. ask any person living in the developed world and they will tell you - most people are miserable 99% of the time. but, if you just catch yourself before you long for that special moment, and realize that the special moment is NOW, anytime, in the middle of your mid-day coffee, or before you brush your teeth, or while you're wiping down yourself after your shower - that you have the freedom to say "pause" to the world, and congratulate yourself on the job well-done - then well, you've reached your happily ever after.
because let's face it - if we don't tell ourselves how good a job we've done, who else is going to do it? success is not the moment where you accomplish everything you hoped you would - that's death. success is those random, occasional split seconds in your life, where you understand that you only got to where you've gotten to now because you never stopped fighting.
congratulations.
0 comments:
Post a Comment